Photo Finish

Isn't this a great photo? In my opinion, it's the best picture anyone's ever taken of me. Shoes on left: mine. Shoes on right: my son Phil's.

This photo demonstrates perfectly the reason I love to take the pictures. I get to edit!Over the years I've learned that my facial expressions when I'm thinking, planning, or concentrating...any expression without a smile...all look like I'm in deep pain. I'm serious. Just a few days ago, someone asked me (again) what was wrong. Nothing, I answered (again). I'm just thinking.


Now, I don't mind looking goofy in pictures, as I can prove:

Here I am in Hong Kong with an amazing friend (she's taking the photo); so much fun posing under a rainbow. 

Looking ridiculous is fine, but looking not-so-thin? Oh, come one, does anyone like that? To prove my point, this is me--slouched into Dena's comfy couch eating her heavenly buttermilk pie, which I clearly do not need. Caption: Messy-Haired Worried Woman with Flapping Neck Eats Delicious-But-Unnecessary Pie Without Regret. 

Another issue with photos (and yes, there are more) involves changing hair colors. In this one, I hadn't met my genius hair-colorist, and I've had white hair since my 20's. I realized how gray it was when I stopped dying it in my 40's--and the drive-through kid at Carl's Jr's gave me the senior discount. Grrrrr. I immediately went back to the helmet-headed brown seen in this shot, taken in a land I love. Caption: Helmet-Headed Woman Having Fun With Wonderful Friend Whose Hair is Actually Brown.

This is a second photo with my son whose feet you already met in the first photo. This one illustrates Personal Problem #4 regarding candid shots of me, which is the fact that I'm not a morning person and I'm not a spend-time-styling-hair person. Here I am with a look that seems kind of angry--and hair that looked pretty cute that day from the front (which is all I ever care about, until I see pictures not taken from the front).  Yep, I like to take pictures.

This is me, getting acquainted with a horse named Patriot, in the photo that's going to take me to the purpose of this piece. In this picture, I'm seeing exactly one angle of Patriot. I saw his head, his eyes, and his ears one fine day at my friend Dena's, but I never went into the stall and saw him. up close, from any other perspective...

Our brains are like cameras, taking pictures constantly and judging them by how well we like them. 

This is true about people and horses and God. I'm asking for an upgraded experiential internal photo of God that carries the same caption I'd add to this picture (yes, I like this one): Picture taken by friend who had the knowledge, desire, and a close enough relationship to capture my heart with hers.


Jehovah is not a dispassionate, disconnected father-figure, revealing Himself only at a distance. He has emotions. They are written all over The Book. We tend to cut out the ones that show the characteristics we're comfortable with and glue them into our internal photo albums, but when He shows His other traits, we don't always know what to do with that. It's true that concepts like justice look entirely different since grace came into the picture at the cross, but we do not serve a God we can control or even totally understand. He is strong in our defense. He is mighty in hearing and responding to our prayers.


Our assignment is to know Him and to judge Him good, no matter what the current circumstances of our lives may imply.  For me, right now, it's tempting to take huge photos of what free will has produced on our planet. 


But the Holy Spirit is always ready to show us a bigger, truer, fuller picture of God. In this season of life, I am so aware that He tugs on the threads of free will. I am being filled with the fact that He is unrelentingly pulling the dark threads of our life's tapestries into masterpieces of redemption. 


His love won't leave us alone, victims of free will, which is such great news. And in the bigger picture, His heart is more tender towards those we care about than ours could ever be, adding His strength, His wisdom, His perfect timing. 


So I'm asking, much as Moses implored so long ago: "Let Your glory pass before me..." My request comes from the viewpoint of this more accurate translation: "Let Your GOODNESS pass before me..." 


Oh, God, my good, good God. Please don't let me miss Your goodness, Your wholeness, Your truth, Your heart today. I will choose the great shots and delete the distorted photos permanently, never to be recycled.


Thank You from the bottom of my tender, purified, longing, loving, healing heart. 

January 31, 2011